never quit

this past Spring i quit my job.  looking back on it, i hated it.  i was miserable and frustrated and knew that i had more in me than that job would ever let me do.  it was holding me down.  so i quit.

then i kind-of freaked out just a little bit.  just a mini-Missy-freak-out (as opposed to the major-Missy-freak-out, which a few of my friends have be not so fortunate to witness). what was i going to do the whole summer without a job?

well, i had signed up for the Wasatch 100, so i started running.  a lot.  i've always been somewhat of a runner.  in high school on the soccer and tennis teams, we used to have to go out and do a 4 mile run around the county block.  the other girls hated it.  i reveled in those runs. 

i have never run so many miles in a summer.  i have never had so much joy in running.  i ran with friends and ran with my dogs, and even did a few solo runs.  then the big day came and i ran my race--conservatively, so that i would finish.  but i didn't finish.  i failed.  i felt so frustrated.  i quit because of injury about two-thirds of the way through the race.  just when i was starting to feel lifted up, and so supported by my friends i might add, i failed.  i felt so low.  i felt as though i just wanted to sit on the couch and cry (and i did).  my knee hurt, my hip hurt, my lower back hurt.  and all i wanted to do was run.

so after 12 days of moping around on the couch and doing little 2 mile dog walks, i got out again today.  i got out for 8 miles.  my hip still hurt, my knee was stiff, and i was wearing a brace on my lower back for support.  i mostly hiked, but i got out.  i didn't quit.

when i got home, the phone rang.  it was the hospital in rural Nevada where i applied for a job a couple of weeks ago.  a 13-week contract in the clinic with shifts in the ER as a Nurse Practitioner.  my heart soared.  i have a job!

then i got an email.  from my friend at the Student Health Clinic where i have been picking up shifts as a Nurse Practitioner as needed, when others are on vacation or need the day off.  see, i had picked up a shift on a Friday in October, the same Friday as another 100-mile race, the race that would be my redemption.  she said she figured out a way to give me the day off...  go run, she said.

so i'm working on getting my hip and back and knee figured out.  i have about three and a half weeks to do it.  then, it's Pony Express 100 day. 

never quit.