Friday, September 16, 2011
Give it time... it will get better
"Destiny rarely follows the pattern we would choose for it and the legacy of death often shapes our lives in ways we could not imagine. Death comes to everyone in their time--to some a parting, to some a release." --M. Wylie Blanchet
When I think of this year compared to this time last year, sometimes I am in disbelief as to the gravity of contrast in all aspects of my life. I don't want to jinx myself or sound too confident, because I know this life is a roller coaster and that things can change suddenly at a moment's notice either for good or for bad. I think the most important thing to remember is that things do change and they will change. (For a review of what happened last year, click here.)The last few days I've taken the opportunity to take a look back and compare the differences, take a cleansing deep breath, and be thankful for what today brings:
Last year: after a summer of beautiful mountain running, I entered my 100-mile event and ended up injured and DNF'd at mile 62.
This year: after a summer of beautiful mountain running and some road running here in Salt Lake City (thanks in part to the efforts of my awesome coach), I entered and finished my 100-mile event and earned my long-awaited belt buckle.
Last year: after quitting my (miserable) job for the summer, i was running out of money, had built up some credit card debt, and was planning on taking a travel job to rural Nevada.
This year: I've paid my credit card debt, have a great job at an awesome clinic here in Salt Lake City, and am planning on sticking around for a while, but am grateful for the things that I learned on my travel assignments which have helped me to become a stronger medical provider and individual.
Last year: in October, my dad actually called me on my birthday: something that I think he had never done without a reminder in all the years of me growing up. He was in a hospital in Germany, and would die a few weeks later.
This year: I'm able to hold fond memories of my dad, someone whom I always had a challenging relationship with to say the least. My brother and I have inherited our dad's house in Germany and plan on vacationing there at least once a year.
Last year: my German language skills were pretty rusty, and I hadn't seen my German aunt and uncle in about 15 years. My brother and I showed up on their doorstep one day in Germany to invite them to our father's funeral.
This year: my German language skills are much improved! and my German aunt and I are actually Facebook friends and comment on each other's status and photos. Who would have thought!
Last year: my brother and I had no idea the financial impact of my dad's not having a last will and testament would have on us.
This year: my brother and I have somehow managed to keep the bills paid and negotiate the probate process, and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. We might still even be friends after the whole thing is said and done! :)
Last year: my brother got married to a red-headed spit-fire of a girl up in Idaho, a girl whom I really didn't know.
This year: I consider myself to have a true sister, and one who will look out for our best interests, enhance the communication of our family, and bring a whole new (positive) element to our family dynamic.
Last year: I slowly made it up to the top of Mt Timponogos with my friend Sue, several weeks after my Wasatch 100 attempt, and still felt injured while doing it (but had fun, nonetheless!)
I could keep listing the differences between this year and last, but I think you get my point. There were definitely some high points last year, but all in all it was quite a challenge, and I'm so glad I kept my chin up and powered through those challenges to become a stronger person. Sometimes it was difficult to see that there was a light at the end of the tunnel or that things would get better with time. Today is proof that things will get better with time if you just hang in there. Here's to hoping this positive trend continues on for a while.