Tuesday, May 25, 2010
i'm going to borrow a line from my friend Jen K, and tell you the story of my recent "life surfing". the last few weeks have been a huge roller coaster for me. and all i can really say is that maybe you can't really enjoy the high points in life without going through the low points. something happens that you think is the end of the world at first, but then you realize that, as Jen says, "your future just got freed up."
after an amazing trip to Zion with Jen and Chris, trail running and mountain biking everyday, i came back to a less than desirable work environment. i have realized over the last couple of weeks that i have not been reaching my full potential at my current work location, and although i could describe situations where i felt disrespected, i don't want to play the "victim" in this, but rather grow from a less that optimal situation and just move on. i'm pretty sure i'm not going back, as i've taken vacation leave for the past 2 weeks, but i haven't made my final decision either.
so last week i went to Ketchum/Sun Valley, to get some more training miles in and spend some time with Jen. she was house-sitting at a great little condo and taking care of a young-at-heart golden retriever named Kobi. so it was me, Jen, Kobi, Hilo (Jen's chocolate lab), and my two goldies Frank and Artemis. talk about a lot of dog hair. yikes. poor Jen had to clean the place shortly after we left because the condo owners were coming home. i think she knitted me a sweater from all of the dog hair fallout.
so i did double workouts of trail running in the mornings and mtn biking in the afternoons and had a generally excellent time. coffee drinking, beer drinking, taking in the scene, and of course the Powerhouse in Hailey was top billing for the weekend. it's a great little bike-fit studio with a bar and pub in the front. Belgian import beers on tap--too many to count. met some really great people sitting at the bar and the owner is an awesome guy, tending bar himself. and the trails in Ketchum/Hailey/Sun Valley area are definitely top notch. and the upper trails are still covered in snow--we were really just hitting the town trails.
i felt a little out of sorts the entire time, because of all the work stuff on my mind: where will i go? what will i do? who will accept me? am i a failure? all the usual self-talk. i felt a little bit like i was blocking the great energy that was around me, because i was working through so many issues in my head. but at the end of the trip, as i was picking up a load of beverages at the store to bring home (call it boot-legging if you will), i serendipitously ran into an old friend in the parking lot. he gave me a hug and asked how i'd been. we only had a couple of minutes to chat, but it really made my day (my week, my month?) just to see him and say hi out of the blue.
now i have returned home, and i'm still not certain what i am going to do. but today, a surprise came in the mail. my aunt sent me an old cassette tape of my high school senior piano recital. wow. i was really good. sure, i made some mistakes along the way, but everyone supported me and cheered for me. every time i made a mistake on the tape, my heart skips a beat to this day! i think to myself, "Come on! Keep going! You can DO IT!" and i did keep going. and i do keep going.
i don't know that i will be buying a keyboard or a piano anytime soon, but i am definitely considering it. for now, i'm going to surf the life that has opened up before me. i'll hit the highs and the lows, and i'll just keep going. i'll enjoy the view along the way. it's life surfing.